Feeling Alone

Dear READER,


I experienced something today that I wish no one would ever have to experience in their life, but sadly to say it is experienced more often than not. I know that some of the blame is with me in having experienced this but I will also note the fault of others. On a bright note, as always I have learned something very important from my run in with this experience, something that will change my life and the life of those around me.

Today I came into contact with the feeling of being completely alone. Having no friends and having the feeling that if I were to just disappear, no one would even notice. No not suicidal thoughts or things like, it was more of what if I just didn't show up. It was and is a horrible feeling one I wish I did not feel.

I was once told that sometimes we have to experience something so that can learn something, and so that we can then help someone else. I have decided to use this experience to do both. I know how it is to feel alone. This is not my first experience with the feeling but it was the strongest. I also know that I'm not really alone. I have parents who love me dearly, I have family who cares for me, and I have friends. Ok so on to the point already.....


What I am LEARNING

1. You can be in a room full of people and still feel completely and utterly alone
2. You are never alone!!!! The Savior is always there for you no matter what and no matter where you are.
3. You have to put yourself out there and sometimes get hurt and be disappointed in order to help get rid of the feeling.
4. Forgetting yourself and helping someone else usually helps in doing the trick.

What I will be DOING

1. I decided today as I had this feeling of 'aloneness' that I didn't like it so I am going to start getting to know my new ward.
2. I will make one visit a week to someone new in my Relief Society. Yes I know this might be awkward and that they may not like me or even let me in but I will have put out the effort (of course I will go with gifts hoping that it will soften hearts)
3. I will be the first to introduce myself to people - I'm not going to wait for them.
4. I am going to smile more....I do this already but I feel like an extra effort is always good and needed.
5. I am going to take care of the 'people' first. Noting that sometimes this may mean putting off other things to help someone in need.
6. I am going to pray for guidance to help me know who needs my help. I will also be praying for courage as I will need it in order to do the will of the Lord.
7. I am also going to start taking notes in Church again. I feel like this will better help me during the week.
8. I want to notices who is missing......if they are not there I want to send them a note letting them know they were missed and that I noticed. I know it's small but it means the world to get things like that. Just to know that someone cares.
9. I love attending the Kennedy Center free showings. So I'm going to invite people to come with me.

I know there are more things I can do but this is my start. It's going to be hard I know. I hope that with me doing this I will be able to help those around me (as I know there are a few) that are feeling the same way. I don't want any one to ever feel what i felt to day. To think that they are alone - at least as far as I can help it.


Yours Truly,


Jenessa

What is Inner Strength?

Dear READER,


I received a card today and the question on this cards was 'What is Inner Strength?'

The card went on to say something like this:

"We may not know we have it
till we're well into the race,
Or feel we're nearly overwhelmed
by challenges we face -
But then we look much deeper for the power to succeed,
And find we have an inner strength
that meets our greatest need."

• By Emily Matthews

It was a very lovely card and the inside was very sweet in wishing me luck and so forth. The greatest part of the card was that my Dad had picked it out and sent it to me in conjunction with me getting my new job. My Dad is the greatest and he is so thoughtful. I know every holiday he will send a card and when i was called as a Relief Society President there were two cards sent for that. Easter came with card and so did graduation......ANYWAYS my Dad is just great. But that is a totally different post for a different day. I want to talk about this inner strength.


I was sitting in my weight watchers meeting today and the Lady said that we had to find the strength to have believe we could loose the weight. I stood there and dug really deep to find the strength to say yes and to believe it.

I learned that inner strength is the courage to say yes. The courage to do what is right when everyone else is doing something different. Its the ability to believe in others and yourself. Today I got to taste a little of what that inner strength feels like and let me tell you it taste wonderful. To be able to stand up tall and say 'I CAN DO THIS, I WILL DO THIS' and not only say it but BELIEVE IT. It was kind of funny that I had to receive a lecture and a card in order to learn this and to actually say I do have inner strength and I am going to use it.


I know this was probably a more random post (note saying that all my post aren't random but this one probably more out of the ordinary) but I hope that one piece of information will stand out to you and you will say man that helped me. Maybe it is well if Jenessa can do it I can defiantly do it, or I should send card more often, or maybe it was the seed of courage planted in you that reads 'I can do this' and you can.
What ever it was don't push the thought away.....take it and do something with it and I promise you it will benefit your life.



Yours Truly,


Jenessa